Three Weeks

I haven’t written a post in three weeks. Not since I first began blogging when I would write here and there have I gone so long without putting my fingers to the keys. Matt went out of town on business a few days each week for the last three weeks in a row, and I had decided before he left that I was going to give myself a little grace and mercy when it came to writing. Had I known how much grace and mercy I would end up giving, I would’ve scheduled some posts from the archives ahead of time!

Unfortunately, Matt’s trips came at an inopportune time for me–days filled with commitments at the kids’ schools, previously made appointments, a birthday party to plan, and the like. Nonetheless, we survived. I was very proud of myself for not losing my temper with the kids or having the feeling that I wanted to send them off into the woods to fend for themselves. Actually, that last statement was slightly disingenuous–apparently, three weeks is my breaking point–but I did much better than I thought possible.

The days went quickly except the last few, but isn’t that always the way? A pregnancy can go quickly until the last month, the last few days before Christmas for kids drag on, and vacation just can’t get here fast enough. I digress, though. I was actually amazed because, for most of the three weeks, I spent my time rushing from here to there, staying up much later than I planned, always feeling behind; yet for all the hustle and bustle, as each week passed, I could hardly remember what happened the days before.

That fact scares me a little. I pack my days full, and when it’s all said and done, I have to evaluate for what am I so tired? I can’t even remember. I rush rush rush, and rushing starts to become the normal way of living, even during times that I want to breathe in and savor the delicious aroma, taste the goodness of it all.

Of course, this dilemma comes back to priorities. Priorities can present a challenge for a perfectionist, however. When everything should be done perfectly, choosing between the tasks becomes difficult. Oh, I’ve figured out how to prioritize some things–spending time with the kids trumps cleaning the shower. In fact, my new standard for cleaning my bathroom is that I need to scrub when I actually get dirty by taking a shower. However, I find prioritizing other tasks a little more difficult. A day to catch up on housework or using the couple of hours the kids are at preschool to write? Those few hours volunteering at school or getting in a good workout? Sending out e-mails to my small group, or finally finishing the neighborhood directory?

Those precious moments I have alone actually become stressful as I try to fit in just one more task before I get the kids. Add a husband out of town to the mix, and my head starts to spin a little.

I know my struggle isn’t new to anyone, and I know there’s a solution right before my eyes–I just can’t always see it. But I also know that I don’t want to spend so much time running that I forget why I was running. Yes, some of those tasks can be forgotten, but others, well, they’re just too important to miss.

And speaking of missing things, I desperately miss all of my friends whom I have met through this blog. I look forward to ‘chatting’ again, and I do hope to figure out my priorities so that I can spend time visiting all of you, as well.