Six a.m. comes way too soon every morning. As much as I want to convert to a morning person, my mind will never be alert while it’s still dark outside. Unfortunately, that rule is also becoming true for when it turns dark outside at night, and if I want any time to pray or write or just to enjoy an hour while the kids are sleeping, I have realized that my best bet is to embrace that early morning hour.
No longer having infants keeping me from a full night’s sleep, I decided to enlist the help of my husband with my morning goal. “Please set your alarm for six,” I would politely request most evenings. Matt has the alarm clock on his side of the bed and, therefore, all the alarm clock responsibilities. When I asked this request, I hadn’t anticipated not getting woken up at six.
Apparently, Matt doesn’t always set the alarm. Other times, his hand immediately slaps it off upon hearing the buzzing noise while the rest of his body lies motionless in bed, not giving my mind the chance to register that an alarm has gone off. Sometimes Matt does set the alarm, pushing the button that illuminates our wake-up time, but our alarm chooses to act like our children on a bad day, refusing to obey and perform its job. And my absolute favorite is when Matt gets ambitious and sets his alarm for five and proceeds to hit snooze until seven, during which time my mind ignores the alarm because I have no intention of getting up at five. And when Matt finally rolls out of bed at seven, he walks straight to the shower, letting me sleep soundly under the covers until our children bounce in the room.
On days when the alarm clock (or my husband) malfunctioned, I would get furious! That was my time that was stolen from me! Don’t they understand that I will not get this alone time again until six tomorrow morning!!! I need time to PRAY if I have any chance of succeeding at NOT LOSING MY TEMPER TODAY!!! I need to WRITE BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
It hadn’t occurred to me until a couple of days ago that perhaps I wasn’t getting my time because it hadn’t become important enough to me. “That’s crazy,” I told myself until the part of my brain that controls my minimal amount of logical thought chimed in and inquired, “Why haven’t you purchased your own alarm clock?”
Well…to be honest…I don’t want to use my spending money on an alarm clock!!! And, well, if the alarm goes off at six, and I happen to hit snooze, I can’t blame Matt anymore.
Sometimes it’s easier for me to blame everyone else in the world than to take action and fix the problem myself. It’s easier to lament that we would have more family time if we lived closer to Matt’s work and better dates if we had more money instead of taking the time to think up something creative. It’s easier to complain that my children are out-of-control instead of getting on the floor, rolling around and helping to control their energy through a wrestling match. It’s easier to get angry at my misfortune of sleeping past six instead of buying my own stupid alarm clock.
It wasn’t until my time became important enough to me to warrant my action that things began to change. The day I decided to alleviate Matt’s burden of setting the alarm and actually waking up is the day six a.m became my time again.
Thankfully, I joined the 21st century and realized that my cell phone has an alarm clock feature before I went out and bought one. Who knew? And I’m now excited to face the dark mornings before my family opens their eyes (unless of course my husband does hop out of bed at five) and take some much-needed me time.
Now if only I could remember to charge my phone by my bed instead of downstairs.