How Am I Going to Pull This Off?

by Jennifer on February 26, 2010

I purposely haven’t written a blog in quite a while.  For the last few weeks, we have been furiously packing, cleaning, organizing–you name it–in order to get our house ready to put on the market.  Every spare minute I had I devoted to this house, and I’m exhausted. I have a blog brewing in my mind to share at another time uncovering all that I discovered during this process, but for now, I’m going to write a short blog about why I had doubts this week about my ability to keep up the appearance of a neat and tidy home.  For the past week, every day displayed one of my shortcomings.  If I struggle in normal life, what will the next few months look like while our house is up for sale?!  I shudder to imagine!

When I grabbed Caleb’s laundry hamper to wash his clothes, he asked, “Why are you taking my basket now?  It’s not full to the top!” DOMESTIC FAILURE!

While helping Matt sort through papers in the garage, I noticed a stack of papers from my second period Language Arts class that I still hadn’t graded.  The last time I taught a class of students was two years ago. TEACHING FAILURE/ORGANIZATIONAL FAILURE!

The other night, I began making dinner as I do every night. Matt and I had chosen a recipe from a magazine earlier in the week.  As I was rolling up these fancy flatbread sandwiches, I kept thinking to myself that they seemed different than I imagined.  After dinner, Matt pointed out that I made a completely different dish than the one we picked out–somehow I didn’t notice that roll-up sandwiches and quesadillas are not the same thing.  MENTAL FAILURE!

While making dinner another night than the above mentioned dinner, I heard my two-year-old encouraging my nine-month-old, “You can do it, Chloe!  Keep climbing up the stairs!”  She was one step from the top when I got her. PARENTING FAILURE!

While making this same dinner, I discovered my two-year-old sneaking into the refrigerator and downing a bottle of raspberry pecan salad dressing. PARENTING FAILURE/DIETARY FAILURE!

This darned dinner that I was making had a total preparation and cooking time of about thirty minutes.  I finished in two hours. TIME MANAGEMENT FAILURE!

Oh, well.  If I were perfect, I wouldn’t have any topics for my blog, I guess….

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When the Laundry’s Finished

by Jennifer on January 28, 2010

Yesterday as I was rushing to throw in one more load of laundry before I had to get the kids from preschool, a sudden thought came to me: “Did I do chores before I had kids?”  I’m sure I did, but I honestly couldn’t recollect a consistent rushing around to get tasks done in the house.

I don’t remember doing laundry.  I know I did it because I wore clothes every day, but I don’t remember laundry holding a steady place in my week.  My guess is that laundry was reserved for the weekend.  Matt and I probably had a hamper that started to overflow, so we’d throw in a few loads when we were running low on underwear or socks.  When I was in the Air Force, we dry-cleaned most of our clothes, so remembering to take and pick up my uniforms from the cleaners was my most important laundry responsibility.

I do remember that I loved hosting Bible studies in our home because they forced me to keep the house clean.  Once a week, I would give the house a good once-over–vacuuming, dusting, mopping, scrubbing–and the house stayed relatively clean until the day had come to start over again.

While I was placing diapers on the rack to dry yesterday, I smirked remembering how casual and disorganized my life really was back then.  I was always tired as a new teacher, yet once I came home from work, I really didn’t do much in the house besides make dinner.  How life had changed!

Now, I feel like all I do is laundry and clean, yet the house is never clean, and I’m always behind on laundry.  As before, I don’t mop the floor that often but for a very different reason: Now, I get disillusioned when I scrub the kitchen floor only for one of my children to spill milk, drop peanut butter and jelly, turn over the dog bowls, etc., less than 24 hours after I finish the job.  It’s more time-efficient to spot clean.

I sighed thinking how wonderful life would be again one day to have only two people’s clothes to throw in the wash.

It would be quiet…

…and I’m not sure I like the quiet.

After all, if it’s quiet, and I’m only doing laundry for two, then I’m not looking at these adorable monkeys every day.

And I want to keep these monkeys around for as long as I can.

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The Crazy Old Bat and Football

by Jennifer on January 20, 2010

Many people assume the children were to blame for making the old lady crazy, and while they did their part, there were other factors.  Genetics surely came into play, as there were some nuts on both sides of the old woman’s family. However, there was one more culprit that people were quick to overlook–the old lady’s husband.

Mr. Davis was a good man, and one would be hard-pressed to find another who disagreed.  The old lady loved her husband very much, and he loved her, and they shared a marriage full of joyous memories.

When Mrs. Davis thought of her husband, by no means did she picture a stoic man.  He was always affectionate to his children and could laugh at a good joke.  However, the crazy old bat would never say that Mr. Davis was emotional.  In fact, due to her own penchant for drama, she would sometimes wish that he were a little less self-controlled.

For example, on her wedding day, the crazy old lady secretly hoped that the beauty she radiated as a new bride would produce such a wellspring of emotion in her new husband that he would not be able to contain the little tears that would pool in his eyes.  Yet on that day, the old woman (then young, of course) did not get her wish.  As she walked down the aisle, her soon-to-be-husband smiled, clearly delighted that his betrothed kept her promise to be his bride, but he was not moved to tears.

The crazy old lady wasn’t disappointed; after all, everyone reacts differently to different situations, but she was certain the birth of their first child would overwhelm her husband.  She had a difficult labor, and when that little boy finally emerged, the only tears came from him and his mother.  His father looked emotionally spent, probably from worrying the last few hours but, again, did not cry.

Perhaps Mr. Davis would cry at the birth of his first daughter.  This labor was uneventful, no worrying necessary, so he could enjoy her birth and allow the happiness of his little girl’s arrival to wash over him producing that single tear.  When the little girl entered the world, Mrs. Davis glanced at her husband and again noticed a smile but no tears.

The crazy old lady was not crazy yet, so she knew better than to look for tears at the birth of their third child.  Mr. Davis and she rejoiced at the speedy surprise that was their second little girl but kept the dramatics to a minimum.  In fact, the only thing dramatic about this birth was how quickly the entire labor and delivery happened.

So given her history with Mr. Davis, the crazy old woman was a little bewildered on January 1st of 2010.  As she was cleaning up in the kitchen, she happened to look over at her husband who was red in the face and whose eyes appeared to be watering.  She followed his gaze to the T.V. and noticed the montage of football clips that he was watching.  She must have missed something.

“What’s got you so emotional?” she asked, not knowing if there were a good story behind one of the players that just flashed on the screen.

“I don’t know,” Mr. Davis replied.

Mrs. Davis’s gaze let her husband know that she needed a better explanation.

“Year-in-review college football reels always get me emotional.”

At that moment, one of the synapses in the crazy old bat’s brain sparked and fizzled out forever.

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10 Signs That You Are Sleep-Deprived

by Jennifer on January 17, 2010

10.  When the doctor tells you that your son’s fever should be better in three or four days, you ask him for the exact day–any math is too complicated.

9. When the dosage for your son’s medicine does not automatically correspond to one of the lines on the medicine cup, you wait for your husband to get home to measure it.

8. You have resorted to asking your three-year-old to remind you to give him his medicine.

7. You have yet to call any of your children by his or her correct name all day.

6. On your rare date night out with your husband, you hesitate to pick a movie with a start time later than 8:00 for fear of falling asleep after the previews.

5. You’ve gone upstairs three times but have yet to come down with the item for which you made the trip.

4. Your husband handed you a coupon and less than one minute later you have no recollection of this incident taking place.

3. When your baby wakes up in the middle of the night crying, you find that you’re crying harder than she.

2.  After your baby goes back to sleep you’re still crying.

1.  You tried to watch the Disney classic Snow White with your children without falling asleep, but the movie is just too long–and you’re under the age of 70.

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Taming the Tantrum

by Jennifer on January 14, 2010

My daughter is beautiful and sweet and cuddly and everything anyone could hope for in a little girl, but she’s also a lot more.  Inside that cute, chubby body is a bag of terrible; after all, she is two.

Hannah Grace gives the best hugs I have ever received–she wraps her arms and legs completely around me like we’re two koalas–and then she finishes with a kiss, and it’s not little by any means! She is extremely affectionate.  The other day, she caressed my mother’s face while saying, “My beautiful, my precious.”

Hannah Grace also gives the best tantrums I have ever seen.  I was not aware that a child could muster up the strength or energy to have a temper tantrum for two hours straight IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.  I am not exaggerating–two hours.

Let me paint a quick picture for you:  I am stirring in my bed somewhat as Matt has gone to check on Hannah Grace who has summoned him.  All of sudden, I sit upright, startled, as I hear a fire engine wailing down our street in our neighborhood.  Oh, wait; it’s just Hannah Grace.  And to make sure that Matt and I know that she is really the one screaming the most obnoxious sound you will ever hear, she continues the tantrum by attempting to kick down her door.  Well, her half of a door.   Her daddy sawed her door in half so that we could lock the bottom portion yet still see her through the open top portion.  That’s what happens when naughty children won’t stay in their beds!

Obviously, Mommy was not happy after a few nights of listening to these types of tantrums, so she had a talk with Hannah Grace before bedtime last night:  ”Hannah Grace, listen to me.  If you wake up in the middle of the night, I want you to squeeze your bear, and go back to sleep.  Do not scream for Mommy or Daddy or kick your door.  We will not come.  Now, if you wake up, and it’s still dark outside, what are you going to do?”

“I kick my door.”

“No, Hannah Grace.  Do not kick your door.  If you wake up, and it’s still dark, you are going to hug your bear, and go back to sleep.  What are you going to do if you wake up?”

“I going to kick my door.”

“No, Hannah Grace.  Do NOT kick your door because I will not come for you.  You are going to go back to sleep.  What are you going to do?”

“I go back to sleep.”

I got the answer that I wanted, but I certainly was not reassured.

At four A.M., I hear a quiet call for me: “Mommy?  Mommy?”

I was panicked.  My little angel was awake.  ”Okay, Hannah, I hear you.  Give me a minute.”  I really had to go to the bathroom, but I was hoping I wasn’t making a big mistake.  After taking care of my business, I quietly walked down the hallway to Hannah Grace’s room.  She was lying on the floor in a ball right in front of her door–NOT kicking or screaming.

I was so proud, and at her request, I lay down next to hear on the floor for a couple of minutes.  We snuggled together until I thought she was asleep, and then I got up to leave.  ”Two more minutes?” she softly petitioned.  ”Okay, Hannah, but after two minutes, I’m going to go.”  She nodded her head in affirmation as she closed her eyes.  About two minutes later, I heard heavy breathing assuring me she was asleep.

As I snuck out of her room, I had to smile.  My little girl had actually practiced restraint.  She quietly called for me and then trusted that I would come if she did not kick or scream.  She had tamed her tantrum.

And on that same walk back to my bedroom, I had another thought: “If a two-year-old can tame her tantrum, why can’t you tame yours?”  Sure, I don’t literally try to kick down a door in the middle of the night, but I could pick my words or tone more carefully during the day.

When the kids or Matt don’t behave, how do I react?  If I don’t get my way, do I pout, or do I deal with it?  Am I overly critical with those I love most, not giving them the grace that I give strangers?

Aarghh.  Why do these thoughts come to me in the middle of the night?  I REALLY hate learning lessons from my kids.

But the reality of the situation is, when I’m terrible, I’m just not nearly as adorable as they are!

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It’s About Relationship

January 13, 2010

I took Caleb to the doctor today AGAIN.  I’m not positive, but I believe I may have taken one child or the other or the other (or possibly two at the same time) to the doctor every week for four weeks.  But who’s counting?
My poor boy has sported different shades of gray over the last [...]

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In a Funk

January 11, 2010

If you decide to read this post, beware.  I don’t really have a plan for where I am going with this entry, but I needed to write.  I’m feeling a little sad today, and writing always helps.  Since it’s only 11:15 A.M., I want to start while I still have time to fix my mood [...]

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The Haircut

January 6, 2010

I debated whether or not to write this post.  I mean, what’s so interesting about a haircut?  But this event hasn’t left my mind since it happened three nights ago.  When a thought stays with me this long, I know either God is trying to tell me something, or I have another writing topic brewing. [...]

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From Their Lips to My Short-term Memory

January 5, 2010

You may remember that a few months ago I wrote a post called “Forget the Baby Book” as a way to record and remember all of the precious gems that leave the mouths of my kids.  If you did remember, I am impressed.  I can’t remember my own kids’ names much less what you posted [...]

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Lessons Learned in 2009

December 31, 2009

This year has been quite eventful–the birth of a beautiful daughter, three additional trips to the hospital (not counting the frequent ER visits with the kids), the short-sale of our home in Oklahoma, and all of the daily joys and trials that come with a family of five.  These experiences with my family have taught [...]

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